High Expectations - Low Involvement

Should there be more cooperation, communication and interaction between parents and school?

Students usually enter and graduate from school with high expectations set by their parents. Parents inquire about the curriculum, academic standards, class sizes, teacher qualifications, extra-curricular programs (sports, drama, music), languages, whether the school is physically and psychologically safe, college preparation, etc. They want to make sure that their children get the best possible schooling and leave as wholesome, educated individuals, ready for the next step - entrance to a preferably renowned university.

Family is the most important influence in a child’s life. Second to that is school.

Though in the beginning years/lower grades parents are vital parts of the child’s development, their attention and care tends to wear off during the long years of going to school. They become less and less involved in the student’s life. The often heard cliche: “How was school today?” deserves the same stock phrase: “It was OK.” It may be followed by a “Did you do your homework?” later, to which comes the standard reply of “Yeah, sure.” Who dares to further question a teenager? The parent assumes that everything is “OK” in the school and feels the satisfaction of being involved in the child’s school life.

The two-year Michigan Survey Your Child revealed some interesting results concerning parental involvement and teamwork between teachers/school administration and parents:

The study revealed significant findings:

• Parents say that 16 per cent of children get less than 7 hours a sleep at night.
• 97 per cent of parents agree that reading to young children is highly important, but only 50 per cent of them do it every night; only 16 per cent of parents report that reading is the primary educational thing they do with their pre-kindergarten aged children.
• Parents and teachers agree that teachers are expected to serve as “surrogate parents” while children are at school. Eighty per cent of parents say they expect teachers to discipline children, teach them right from wrong or mediate between the school and home.
• 97 per cent of teachers say that TV, video, Internet or music influence student behavior; 59 per cent say that this influence shows up in poor morals. Parents report that children watch an average of 2.17 hours of TV. (The American Association of Pediatrics recently published that children under 2 should not watch television AT ALL. After that age there should be educated media viewing only.)
• 41 per cent of parents say the primary involvement they have with their child’s education is homework; yet 47 per cent of parents don’t feel comfortable helping their child with their homework.
• Parents said they seek information and advice on how to be better parents (67 per cent); teachers said parenting classes are the best resource available for helping parents with their children (25 per cent.)

Parents expect teachers to discipline children and teach values to them. According to Jean Piaget, the famous developmental psychologist, “the whole edifice of the adult personality - its rationality, its morality, its very perceptual stability - is founded on the physical processes of the child’s early years”. Early, meaning before age 6, before the child ever sets foot in a first grade classroom.

Parents, on you go! Ask, talk, reason, and learn about your children!

Family is the most important influence in a child’s life. Second to that is school. Parents don’t have this privilege for a long time, because with the adolescent years friends and peers take over this prized place of influence. However, it helps a lot if the foundations are right.

Should there be more cooperation, communication and interaction between parents and school? The two strongest influences must join forces in the success of our most precious possessions: our children.

Parents, on you go! Ask, talk, reason, and learn about your children! Instead of the common trend of disagreeing with a teacher or a school policy if your child allegedly has been wronged, go and ask the other party.

Establish a healthy authority for your child by backing up the teachers and school rules. If there are differences, discuss them first, before you express your disagreement in front of the child. They need to see that you are in unity for their benefit.

Children learn by example. They will learn respect when they see it. Teachers, you have so much experience and input. Give it! This little bit of investment pays off wonderfully, and with a little bit of involvement you can maintain your great expectations - you will not be disappointed!

Rita Jako is a mother of three children and the marketing director of Greater Grace International School (www.ggis.hu), a private English-language primary and secondary school in Budapest. The school’s motto is, “Morality, Discipline, Respect.” The school emphasizes educating students in this spirit to create honorable, virtuous and successful adults.

parental involvement, school, students, parents, teachers, children, example, respect