Feedback & Self-Esteem

There is an obvious cultural difference between European and North American cultures, is feedback and in relation to this, the concept of self-esteem.

It is important in the US workplace to know how one is doing and how one is perceived, and feedback is generally conveyed spontaneously and generously. It can at times be negative and direct when things go wrong, but it usually tends to be extremely positive and the number of superlatives used is impressive: great, terrific, fabulous, wonderful, excellent, not to mention a more common ‘good job’. The aim of this technique is also to maintain or reinforce employees’ self-esteem and allow them to grow in the workplace.

Self-esteem is a very important concept in an American person’s development. The strengthening of his or her personality is achieved through positive feedback, and self-esteem building is nurtured early on at home, in school, and in sports clubs. It isn’t very surprising then to see the influence it has on human resources management.

Continental Europe greatly differs from the mainstream North American culture in this sense. But let’s jump immediately to the Hungarian example. If we compare the middle class U.S. home with middle class Hungarian child-rearing practices, we rapidly realize that presently the concept of self-esteem doesn’t have much meaning in the Hungarian culture. “You can be proud of yourself!” (spoken without irony in the US) is often a sarcastic way to condemn a child’s behavior in Hungary.

The personality of Hungarian children develops through facing adversity. They are loved dearly and often indulged greatly, but it is of primary importance to teach them early on the rules that will make them successful in a ‘merciless’ adult world. There is no need to send them an ‘overly’ positive message that would only flatter them and would give them a false representation of ‘reality’. The difficulty of the information-centered Hungarian school curriculum and the attitude of Hungarian teachers in the higher grades often reinforce this tendency, leading to human resources practices that are rather tough from an American point of view.

“What you are, must always displease you, if you would attain to that, which you are not.”
- St Augustine

Cultures, child-rearing, children, feedback, human resources, self-esteem, workplace