Being a Guest

If you are a guest in someone’s home, it is a good idea to bring something for the wife (she is the hostess and the queen of the house). Flowers or plants are appreciated. The number, color and type of flowers have traditional meanings, but most people do not know them any more. One dozen pink, white or dark red roses are a safe choice to thank your hostess; never give chrysanthemums as they are for funerals and grave sites. Bring small gifts for the kids if you know them: special candies of your home country, T-shirts with the name of your town or state (but not company - except entertainment companies like Disney), or the latest kid’s and teenager’s gadgets.

It is a good idea to make some efforts at the language and ask questions about it. Don’t be afraid to ask your host to correct you, since Hungarians enjoy to do this anyway (we are very picky about our language but encouraging with foreigners).

Hungarian hostesses do not expect their guests to lend a hand in the kitchen, setting or clearing the table, etc. The kitchen is her private area, so don’t just wander in there! If you are asked to help out, consider it a sign of admittance into the family.

In any circumstances, do not “make yourself at home” or “help yourself.” Hungarian hosts do not normally show guests over the entire house. Do not wander around if you need something - ask for it and don’t follow the person who goes into another room to get it for you. Closed doors in a private home mean no admittance, except for the bathroom. The toilet may be in a separate room from the bathroom, so be precise (”toilet”, “vécé” or “mosdó”) when you ask for directions! The English word “bathroom” means the room where the tub or shower is for the Hungarian. It may also be a good idea to knock on the door of the toilet before you open it.

It is poor manners to rest your feet on a coffee table or chair.

Tell your host or hostess ahead of time if you have a problem with a specific food (allergy and so on). People will understand your problem and it is always better than not touching what they have prepared for you.

Accept wine in your glass, but be aware that a good host keeps his or her guest’s glass full, so take little sips to ensure you are not refilled too often! If you object to alcohol or prefer not to drink, allude to driving or health problems. A great excuse: there is zero tolerance alcohol policy for drivers in Hungary, which means Zero that any amount of alcohol in a driver’s blood is a crime.