Conversation: Misunderstandings, Hidden Expectations

Language is often indirect and imprecise, and purposely so. Hungarians are almost always less direct than Americans and depend on nuances of meaning in many cases. (High-context communication.) Watch for allusions and hidden meanings, and listen to what is not said as well as what is said.

In the U. S. -

In order to be a sociable and open person it is important to converse with people.

People rapidly exchange information about their activities, family, etc.

You will receive questions about your background the first time you talk with someone. (Here in Hungary, that might come 9 months later.)

In Hungary -

It is a positive trait not to babble-chatter-tittle-tattle, and to limit the amount of private information you give to strangers. To be a man of a few words is seen as a sign of being a wise person. Only “silly women and immature children” speak all the time.

Again:

Hungarians are shy and reserved in expressing positive feelings in relationships.

Hungarians hardly ever say verbally “I love you”, and very rarely praise you directly “in the eye”.

You have to learn reading between the lines if you don’t want to suffer from love-deficiency.

• Americans ask questions to build a relationship.
• Hungarians share what’s on their hearts when interested in building a relationship.

Americans answer questions. They only share as much as the other one has expressed interest in. Americans almost always ask a question, when they want to continue the conversation.

Hungarians can ask lots of questions, but it is not a rule in the conversation pattern to always finish with a question when you finished talking, and want the other one to pick up the conversation. Hungarians share as much as they feel free to. Then it’s just your turn.

• Ho do you behave in your home culture in order to be seen as a social and open person?
• How is this behavior viewed in continental Europe? In Hungary?
• How your friends express their love and appreciation to you in your home culture??
• How your Hungarian friends express their love and appreciation to you?
• What is the main conversation tool in your home culture to express interest and build up a relationship?
• According to your observations, is the main conversation tool in Hungary to express interest and build a relationship?

asking questions, conversation patterns, high-context communication, language, communication, cultural differences, misunderstandings